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Creepypasta Wiki:Deletion Appeal
__NOWYSIWYG__ After Hours __my story should be undeleted because it meets standards of a creepypasta, and it is well thought through and thoroughly checked__ By: abnormal physco :Starting with the smaller issues. Dialogue needs to be spaced out. There shouldn't be two people speaking in the same paragraph as it can lead to confusion. (Unless stating the speaker each time, which becomes redundant.) I would also recommend against beginning sentences with conjunctions (but, and, because) as it is technically not grammatically correct. (It is fine in dialogue, but in the story itself, it just comes across as choppy. You should also break the paragraphs up a little (to about 5-10 sentences per paragraph.) to make it easier to read. :Onto the larger issues, there're a number of punctuation, capitalization, wording, and grammatical issues. Beginning with punctuation issues, there are commas missing from sentences where a pause is needed, punctuation missing from dialogue, ("Time for bed kid(,/.) my dad...", (Quotation missing)Time for all young people to go to sleep.(Quotation mark missing) He said as he slowly started to close my door . (spacing issues)", " If someone set a specific time why,(Question mark needed)And is there a age limit for this faze. (phase?)", ""It -it's Josh he's dead(period missing)" Apostrophes missing from words denoting possession. "friend(')s house", (Quotations missing)We know where you are. We knew you would hear us outside. It took some time but we scheduled a(an) assassination . Good plan,but your (you're)right where we need you .(spacing issue) Well then you know who the other person is now don't you.(?) Don't try to escape you already know we've planned that.(Quotations missing) :Capitalization issues: "I heard a familiar voice say(comma and space missing"Josh is becoming to be a disobedient young man(period needed) He's.(sic) Beginning (beginning) to ask more questions about us (period missing)", "I saw ms.felipe(Ms. Felipe's) tears coming down her face.", " josh's empty desk.", "...to ms.Felipe. (Ms. Felipe) my (My) heart stopped.", "But why? those freaks planned on killing me." :Grammatical errors. (You're=you are, your=possession.) wording issues: "my (My) world went red. To (Too) much to take in." Also a fragmented sentence. "me, And (capitalization) I'd need all the food and money I could get. I easdropped (eavesdropped) on my parents(,/.) And I heard enough. my... (My)" :Finally the ending is problematic. "I enjoyed writing all of this but I have someone that is coming for me in 3,2,1. Size news: (Size news?) today we have found a young man in an abandoned house slaughtered. He left a series of clues but we still don't know who he is. We only know how he died. Investigators will get further information as quickly as possible." So the protagonist timed it down to seconds yet made no attempt to escape? He also spent his final moments uploading the story to this site. Finally ending on a newspaper article is farly generic especially when it gives little to no information on the protagonist's death. I'm sorry, but this story does not meet the quality standards of this site and the appeal is being turned down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:03, December 10, 2014 (UTC) Don't Move - Ritualpasta Deleted after it got a nomination for creepypasta of the month and also deleted because of no story which a ritualpasta does not need a story. I would like it be brought back because of non - volation of rules. (AURAMAGIC) :The story was actually deleted by LOLSKELETONS for Cliches. I will address that later, but at this moment, I think it's important to focus on some of the issues I found in the story. Once again, there are punctuation issues. "You will not be permitted to move(comma) speak(comma) or even open your eyes at any instance until the ritual it (is) done.", "If done correctly and you followed the instructions correctly (redundancy with correctly, also a comma/period is missing) you will find yourself accomplishing one thing like finding the one thing (redundancy with this) you need in your collection or become rich by trying out the lottery." (Also could be broken up into two smaller sentences to help with flow.) "Ok(,) now to start the ritual you have to do the following :(space not needed)" :Wording errors "In exactly one minute(,) the spirits can be heard if you have not put cottonballs in your ears and can touch you (and) even produce loud screaming to make you move." "When this is done(,) pour the salt in a circle around you so the dead cannot interact with you anymore and chant the words(:/,) "I have won and now you shall grant me my prize" such as before (Awkward phrasing, like before) you have to speak loudly and clearly.", "Be aware that if you moved that (redundant) the dead will follow you for an unknown time and that (Overuse of "that") they might kill you." :Finally the ending needs some work. "Good luck and may your future not be a haunted one." It seems kind of anticlimactic. We unfortunately need to update the cliche list as there is little mention of ritual pastas, but the concept of the nondescript reward is fairly prevalent in ritual pastas. You can also message LOLSKELETONS if you want his reasonings. Also the idea of being pursued by the dead is interesting, but it needs more detail You mention psychological trauma at the start but never elaborate on it. "Be aware that if you moved that the dead will follow you for an unknown time and that they might kill you." What would be a frightening concept is weakened through lack of details. (followed for an unknown amount of time and the implication that they might kill you needs a little more oomph.) I'm sorry WatcherAzazel and Auramagic, but this comes off as a fairly generic ritual pasta with punctuation and wording errors. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:53, December 11, 2014 (UTC) ::While I enjoyed the Pasta alot, I do see your reasoning. I hope AURAMAGIC will take this into account, and do another draft.--WatcherAzazel (talk) 04:31, December 11, 2014 (UTC) :::The Writer's workshop is helpful for this reason. (Getting feedback) Also, please don't comment here unless it is for an appeal. Thanks. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:35, December 11, 2014 (UTC) Elsword : the glitch that made me quit This pasta was also created by me but was deleted seconds after it was published which could not have been apropriate time for the admin to read and delete it and no rules were violated by this pasta so i would like it returned aswell. The ending was suppose to be a source of comedy if there was any problem with that. (AURAMAGIC) :Here is a copy of the story. However looking over it, I can see quite a bit of grammatical issues and plot problems. Also since "Elsword" is a game, it should be put in italics or quotations. :"I" needs to be capitalized. "as i went ", "and i'm not sure", " but i should have", enemy's should be enemies as that is the plural. "...inflicting was just to much..." (Wording issue, too should be used as it references amounts.) Additionally you shift from past tense to present a number of times throughout the story. "The next thing I knew I was it the Time and Space dungeon which I had cleared thousands of times in the past and just as easy with the new character I have. As I look(looked) at my glorious combo's and damage I realise (realized/realised)..." :Punctuation issues, commas are missing from sentences where a pause is needed and dialogue should be preceded by a comma. (said(comma missing) " That's(spacing issue) what happens..."), "after reading this(,) i (I) pressed..." there are also run-on sentences. "Since then(,) I've have been playing first person shooter MMO's and the game I've been playing recently has a new character and i (I) hope i (I) don't have to delete a character to play him." That should be broken up into two sentences. :As for the plot issues. There are two major Cliches here. "you are next!" is so common it found it's way onto the page for cliches. It really isn't an effective means for increasing tension/creepiness. Additionally the concept of characters in video games feeling pain and being deleted has been covered by a lot of poke pastas/other video game stories. (Most notably Jessica) I'm sorry, but this story has a lot of issues with Quality Standards and the generic/non-descriptive plot really doesn't do it many favors. The appeal is being turned down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:13, December 11, 2014 (UTC) The House Of The Smiling Swordsman Okay, I'm pretty new to this. I mean, I've been on this page a lot and read a lot of creepypastas, but I'm new to the whole 'appealing' thing as I only made an account today to post. I don't understand exactly how to do this so I apologise for any giant mistakes. I read through the quality standards and I made sure all the spelling, grammar, spacing, capitalisation and formatting was correct. I'm not sure exactly why it was deleted, but could it be undeleted please? It met the standards and it didn't involve any overused lines or quotes, or so I think. All I got from the deletion log was that it didn't meet the quality standards, yet I was sure it did. If this can't be undeleted, I'm sorry for wasting your time. Enjoy the rest of your day/night (depending on timezones/where you live). Psychopathicarsonist (talk) 14:25, December 12, 2014 (UTC) Sure, you had spelling, grammar, spacing, capitalization and formatting. All that was correct. However you forgot the most important part: the story itself. That's the reason it was deleted. The following is my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt. So, as I see it there's not really a satisfying progression in the story. Your character finds the house, goes in, talks for a bit and then leaves. It doesn't leave anything memorable in the reader, in fact, it left me pretty nonplussed. I recommend you rethink what exactly you wanted to tell with your story. It must give some sort of plot to the reader for it to be a good story. If the reader doesn't really know what was the point of the story, then it wasn't done correctly. --"You know why he's here? Why he's investigating the broken rules? He's not paid or anything. He likes it. He gets off on it" (talk) 14:38, December 12, 2014 (UTC) Ah, right. Yeah, I got it. Thank you for that, it helps. I'll remember that. Hopefully, next time I try and do something like this (or similar), it'll be 3000% better. Thanks for your help! ^^ Psychopathicarsonist (talk) 14:57, December 12, 2014 (UTC) The British Sheep Cloning First off, looking over your stories, I can see quite a bit of capitalization, grammatical, wording errors. Capitalization: animals do not need to be capitalized. ("Cows" "Sheep", etc) Words capitalized in the middle of sentences ("...and Hydreliox, Once (once) the gas was turned on(comma missing) the Sheep(sheep) fell into a deep sleep, the Sheep’s(sheep's) heart rate was monitored as well as it’s (its) breathing.", "March 1995, The (the)cloned sheep has been put into quarantine for a time but it was showing all normal signs of a regular sheep, It (it) would eat, sleep(,) and relieve..." At first I thought you meant to capitalize "it" as an emphatic, but later on when referring to the sheep (with gender neutrality) you don't capitalize "it". "March; 1995, The (the) cloned sheep had been acting a bit odd for the first few hours, It (it) had stopped eating and sleeping, it (as mentioned earlier, no consistency in capitalization) even had stopped going near the normal sheep, it was carefully monitored for the next few days." This sentence is also a run-on and needs to be broken into smaller, more fluid sentences. Onto grammar. (it's=it is, its=possession) "it’s (its) breathing" "it’s (its) eyes were blood red (cliche), it’s (its) wool was shaving off...", "it’s head torn off,", Wording issues: there are quite a lot of run-on sentences here. "April 1995, The (the) cloned sheep was found but not as it was before, the fur and skin have peeled off, All (all) that was left of the sheep is muscle and bones, the head was a horrible sight as it was just muscle and bone, Zubritsky told the team that it would be taken back to the lab and that it would be experimented on.", "March; 1995, The (the) cloned sheep had been acting a bit odd for the first few hours, It (it) had stopped eating and sleeping, it (as mentioned earlier, no consistency in capitalization) even had stopped going near the normal sheep, it was carefully monitored for the next few days.", "April 1995, A (a) surgery was taken onto (performed on? "Taken unto" is awkwardly phrased) the sheep and it was just plain confusing, parts of intestines and veins were taken out or (had) fallen off (out of) the sheep, It (it) is unknown how it survived without these parts of the body, The (the) sheep was to remain in quarantine until further time." Story issues: you start off sounding fairly scientific until the cloning itself. "A blue and green light was ordered to be turned on by Zubritsky and as it was the heart rate of the sheep began to increase, slowly the sheep began to change until there was a flash inside the tube, Zubritsky and Hillmer ran to the next room where another tube was only to discover the first cloned sheep." (That is just phrased awkwardly and lacks the scientific approach you used when discussing the dosing of the sheep.) For a scientific experiment, the protagonist really doesn't back up any of the claims. (Why are the eyes red? Why is the skin peeling off? What caused muscle-growth. Additionally the use of red eyes has become so prevalent in stories that it has made its way onto the list of Cliches. I'm sorry, but this story has a lot of issues, I would suggest taking your next story to the writer's workshop because this sense that your stories are grammatically perfect and are being 'falsely deleted' is only going to result in more of your stories being deleted for not meeting quality standards. I'm turning down this appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:34, December 14, 2014 (UTC) The Arcade disappearance I think my story The Arcade disappearance should be undeleted because it met the standers from what I read but correct me if I'm wrong. I'm just beginning and it wasn't the best but I'm a beginner like I said--JNgamingandmore(on youtube) (talk) 23:09, December 14, 2014 (UTC)JNgamingandmore(on youtube) :Starting out with the smaller things. The title of your story was improperly capitalized. "The Arcade disappearance" should be "The Arcade Disappearance". You additionally need to break up the story into smaller paragraphs as it was just a wall of text. You also added a nonexistent category. ("Arcade") Finally, I know MK signifies "Mortal Kombat", but it needs to be written out and put in italics or quotations as it is a video game. :Onto punctuation issues. You forget to utilize commas in a majority of places where needed. "Hi(,) I'm Adam Sanderson(comma or period) I'm bad at making friends so I go to arcades to make friends after school.", "I will never forget my friend Wade Kent(comma missing) he was my best friend.", "Wade and I loved to play at Magic Arcade(comma missing) it was the best arcade in town and it was no surprise it was picked to test a new game(,) SKULL Kingdom." :Wording and capitalization issues: "Wade and I was (were) bored...", "the (The) first game I died by the first skeleton(,) I was mad but he made it (through) 75 percent of the first level." "you (You) aren't supposed to win(comma or period) how dare you win(period) I'll show you.", "he (He) was already at the MK machine(,) which is wired (weird) because he normally waits on me. he (He)", "Wade is died (dead,) you are next." :Plot issues: The "you are next" ending has made its way onto the Cliche list because it is over-used and generally used ineffectively. Then there's the ending. "so (So) I did what a kid my age would do(,) I ran back to the arcade(,) screamed at the sight of Wade(')s died (dead) body(,) beat the game and ran home. I died the next day. I forgot to ask you something(,) do you believe in ghost (ghosts) because I do?" I'm sorry but let's follow the protagonist's thought progression. His best friend has just been murdered by an arcade system, so his first reaction is to beat said arcade (despite knowing the dangers), go home and die? I'm sorry but this seems really rushed and nonsensical. Additionally how and/or why is a ghost writing this? He gives us no warnings to stay away from the arcade, it just comes off as a gimmicky plot twist. I'm sorry, but this story doesn't meet quality standards and this appeal is being turned down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:27, December 14, 2014 (UTC) Dream Apollyon I think my story should be undeleted, because it took me a lot of time to think out, and to write. I reread the story multiple times for any mistakes I could have made in it, and when I pressed "publish" I thought it was near perfect for this site. If you could be so kind as to look back over it, it would be much appreciated. GyroScopePLAYS (talk) 05:08, December 15, 2014 (UTC) My pasta Dream Apollyon was deleted and I would like for it to be looked back over. I checked it well, and put a lot of thought into it, and I'm fairly certain it met all of your standards. GyroScopePLAYS (talk) 05:11, December 15, 2014 (UTC) :Starting with the smaller things first. You should really refrain from all-caps on so many phrases. "KILL YOURSELF. IT WILL BE SO MUCH EASIER.", "SO YOUR MOTHERFUCKING NAME IS JAKE!", "THE ANSWER IS ME. I DID. I BROUGHT YOU INTO MY MOTHERFUCKING REALM". Exclamation points serve the same purpose and are less distracting. (You capitalize entire phrase fifteen + times in a seven paragraph story.) Don't start sentences with conjunctions. (but, and, because) as it technically isn't grammatically correct. You should also restrict ellipses to dialogue as using them for dramatic pauses comes off as melodramatic and ineffective when you use them 25 + times. Television programs should be in quotations or italics. :Onto the larger issues. Dialogue needs to be separated from paragraphs and start new lines. (Especially when there is a conversation going on to avoid confusion.) ""What brings you to my realm, Jake?" he (He) asked in a laughing, muffed tone. "My... My name isn't Jake(./comma missing)" I replied. "You look like a Jake, SO YOUR MOTHERFUCKING NAME IS JAKE!" he (He)..." There is also punctuation issues. Dialogue needs to be concluded with punctuation. "NOW ANSWER MY DAMMED QUESTION ALREADY, JAKE".(period outside quotations), "I... I don't know(period/comma missing)", "THE ANSWER IS ME. I DID. I BROUGHT YOU INTO MY MOTHERFUCKING REALM".", "...dream(./,)" I replied. "Oh... Okay. Well, uh, I'm going to be leaving for work soon, so you'll have the house to yourself for most of the day(./,)"", "... Wait...(excessive ellipses) Did she call me Jake before she left?".(period not needed), " I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW OF MY ASSISTANCE (wording error, you meant "existence") "(period missing), etc. :Grammatica issues: you forget to use an apostrophe to denote possession a number of times. "mother(')s blood", "... My mother(')s"(hyphen missing to denote interrupted dialogue), "mom(')s blood", "mom(')s room", etc. :Story issues. First off, the dialogue needs a lot of work. The excessive swearing comes off more as someone trying to sound intimidating on a rap skit than your intention of being threatening. Also typing words out all capitalized is effective in small doses, but when almost every other time Apollyon talks, it is LIKE THIS, it comes across as gimmicky. Additionally the idea of the author having a limited amount of time typing is a trope way too common in stories. Is Apollyon waiting for the protagonist to finish typing the story before he kills him? Is he going to give him time to proof-read and edit the story as well? It just comes off as nonsensical. Finally the ending needs some work. "Okay, well, I guess I'm ready for death. So yeah... Bring it on. Bye everyone." It just comes across as anticlimactic. I'm sorry, but there are a lot of issues (capitalization, punctuation, grammar, wording plot issues, etc.) present in this story that brings in below out quality standards. I am turning down this appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 05:35, December 15, 2014 (UTC) 5 Days I am wondering why my story was deleted so quickly after it was posted. I didn't find anything wrong with it. I thought my grammar was good and sentence structure, paragraphs, etc. I didn't think my idea was unoriginal or anything like that (but this could all be because I wrote it. Feedback is appreciated). It was titled "5 Days". Hashtagcreepy28 (talk) 00:52, December 18, 2014 (UTC) :First things first, your story was deleted about an hour after it was uploaded, more than sufficient time to judge its quality. The dialogue needs to be spaced out. Each speaker beginning a new line instead of just cramming multiple speakers into a paragraph. Additionally you need to space out your headers. (day 1, day 2, etc.) as they were all on one line like this: "/day one/ 10:30pm I suppose I should introduce myself. I'm Andrew Roberts, but for the sake of informality, call me Andy." :There were punctuation issues. Commas misused/lacking where needed. "She said(comma missing) "magic (Magic) :D."", "She seemed upset, but replied(,) "ok. (capitalization issue)"", :A majority of the issues I found were in the story itself. You need to work on story flow as it really came across as choppy. "I live alone. It was snowing outside, maybe a blizzard was on the way, I don't remember. She wasn't wearing the right clothes for this weather." The dialogue needs some work. At times you address actions as having occurred in the past; while other times they occur in the present. "She says she was saving the best for last. " / "End what?" she asked. "My life," I said, voice wavering. "Many of her bones were broken, including her neck and spine." (The only bones in the neck are in the spinal column.) :Additionally where is police intervention? The protagonist just lost both his sister and parents, yet police seem to have a minimal presence in the story. They don't even stop by to inform him of his parent's deaths while he is trapped in the house. :Finally the ending is fairly cliched. "6:46pm My NaMe Is sCeLeStA, aNd YoU aRe DeAd." First off, the alternating capitalization just seems out of place and off. (Especially when she typed normally earlier in the story. Is she doing it for effect? Finally the "You are Next" ending is incredibly Cliched. So the protagonist is writing all of this and she's watching him? It's been done before, but it really makes the introduction seem odd. (He's in peril now, but he takes the time to try and eschew formality? Finally after Andy is likely killed, why does Scelesta bother to sit down and write a message and then upload it? There are a lot of plot issues here. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:19, December 18, 2014 (UTC) Rigor Mortis My poem Rigor Mortis was deleted recently. In my opinion the poem was good, though not specifically horror. The poem was supposed to send out the message that we our world has become so corrupt that it has to be destroyed and the ultimate void left after the said destruction (Ourobouros dying due to being poisoned) and parts of it are inspired by the Revelations chapter from the Bible. I feel it should not have been deleted and should be added back to the wiki. AdamMortdecai (talk) 12:20, December 18, 2014 (UTC)AdamMortdecai/Varun Jacob :Although you paint a pretty vivid picture with your words, this reads more like a short-story (with fragmented sentences) than a poem. There's really no fluidity to validate it as a poem. My suggestion would be to re-write it as a short-story or re-tool it so that it flows better as a poem. There's all kinds of good resources online you can check to help you with this. :As it stands now however, this piece of work remains deleted until you can fix these issues. :Mystreve (talk) 14:30, December 18, 2014 (UTC) What you don't see (?) my page was deleted whilst I was tweaking it, doing things like correcting spelling mistakes, grammar mistakes so I think it was and unfairl deletion. And I don't understand why every single pasta I write gets take down. At least tell me whay it was taken down :I assume you are appealing the deletion of your latest story. It was deleted as it didn't meet quality standards. There are grammatical (your=possession, you're=you are). As it's short, I'll give you the full review and put edits/corrections in parenthesis and then explain the story issues. "There is never a time when you're completely aware of everything around you. There’s always a thought at the back of your mind, telling you that there's something lurking outside the door. When your (you're) fast asleep, anything could be happening, but you'll never know. (Elaboration is needed.) What if there’s someone who got in our (your) house when you had come back from your work, opened the door and dropped the keys. (?) (needs rephrasing) They snuck in when you bent down so you could pick said keys up, and now they're waiting for the perfect moment to kill you. What if When (when) you get told that your grandmother just died in her sleep, what if (redundancy with what if) the Doctor who tells you, (unneeded comma) is really her killer. (Should be a question mark) You'd never know. you (You) never know. (Additionally seems redundant) What if when you go to sleep you die, and wake up as someone else who thinks that they're you.(?) You'd never know... (Additionally this thought has been covered more in-depth in other creepy pastas.) So some lovely thoughts to send you off to bed with. sweet dreams... (Excessive ellipses make the story seem melodramatic. Also the conclusion seems pretty anti-climactic and aimless.)" :The story feels very rushed and not fully formed. You seem to be jumping from creepy idea to creepy idea without any real unifying thought/theme. It really looks like you had multiple ideas, but didn't sit down and take the time to appropriately flesh them all out and just decided to mash them all together. I'm sorry, but this story lacks plot/drive and has numerous quality standards issues for being only two paragraphs long. I'm denying this appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:43, December 18, 2014 (UTC) Winter Nightmare My Pasta was deleted due to the fact that I published it unfinished. I apologize for putting it out like and I recognize my idiocy for not writing it on word or anything before posting it, but I was in such a rush that I forgot I could. Anyways, I have managed to put what was written on word and add to it and it's now complete and ready be put out there. So I must ask that it be undeleted and I promise that such an idiotic mistake will never happen again. The eater of your banana-flavored soul, Holyshadow73 (talk) 20:07, December 18, 2014 (UTC)The Eater of your Banana-Flavored Souls, Holyshadow73 :Your story was deleted as it wasn't finished. You say it is finished, but we cannot decide on that until we see a copy. Please upload a copy to pastebin and attach it to your message and then we can review it. Until then, this appeal is denied. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:30, December 18, 2014 (UTC) ::Before we start, I'd like to thank you for going through the proper channels. To start with the smaller things. Your story (as posted on my talk page, as requested.) doesn't need four spaces between each paragraph. It makes the story seem longer than it is and discourage some less attentive readers. (One space between paragraphs is fine.) Also when putting a date: January 2, 2012, you should add the suffix -nd. (2nd) Additionally I would recommend with journal entries, making each entry a header just for the sake of authenticity/realism. Those are small stylistic issues. ::Some of the larger issues I found were grammatical. (it's=it is, its=possession) You seem to alternate between the two without any real consistency. "It's(its) fangs were covered...", "Its (it's) creepy.", "...but its (it's) dull staying...). Capitalization: "Sweet Dreams (sic)", "Middle School" shouldn't be capitalized unless referring to a specific school. "Television" shouldn't be capitalized. (Capitalizing the abbreviation is fine, but not the word itself, unless it begins a sentence.) ::Punctuation: "After saying goodbye to Adrian and finishing my lunch(comma missing) I headed out to look for a job." "When I turned off the TV(,) it said," You did a fairly good job catching most of these, but a helpful trick is to try reading the story aloud and adding commas where you notice a pause in sentence flow.Wording issues: "I wandered around with a golf bat." (Golf bat? You mean club?) ::Plot issues were a little more prevalent. You repeat the date January 3rd, 2012 twice. One entry he has a bad day at work and goes to a bar and falls asleep. Then you repeat the same date (Jan. 3rd) for the next entry, detailing how he was fired. Writing in diary format can be interesting, but having the author die mid-sentence and having the creature stalking him is problematic. Why would the creature complete the entry? Why would it also proceed to upload it to the internet. Additionally the monster's intentions seem a bit odd. It kills the protagonist's boss and friends because of what he said, but for what purpose? The creature is in his dreams one moment and in his reality the next. The second half of the story seems rushed and really doesn't suit the journal format. (Action intensive sections typically do not translate well in a journal entry and makes the reader wonder why the protagonist is writing this at all? They are being menaced by a monster, but still take the time to sit down and write a final journal entry. ::Thank you for completing the story, but there are still some issues here. It is not quite ready for the main site. Might I suggest taking it to the writer's workshop if you intend on re-working it so you can get some help to avoid any cliches or overused tropes common with these types of stories. I'm sorry, but in its current form, the punctuation, capitalization, wording, and plot issues really detract from the overall quality of the story so I'm afraid I have to turn down this appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:05, December 19, 2014 (UTC) Online Footprint My short pasta Online Footprint was deleted recently. It had got two 10/10 reviews and was a good read (in my opinion). There were no gramatical errors. It should be reuploaded as I think it is up to the wiki standards. ~~~~AdamMortdecai/Varun Jacob Hum...hmmmmm... Sorry, I'm afraid I disagree. Not to say the concept isn't good. In fact, it's excellent. However the execution leaves a lot to be desired. I feel it doesn't milk the concept properly, it lays the idea but doesn't even show the implications nor the backgrounds of the story and the online footprints. It's relatively interesting that it is from the perspective of one of those beings, but...I feel that his perspective doesn't invoke any feelings from the reader. It feels just like once another story. I think it'd be good to try to give your story more work. Make the reader be engaged with the story, make the reader want to know more about what those beings entail and what they can do, their origin in the browsers, etc. But also remember that the genre leans towards the creepy side, so always keep in mind to continue having elements that can fit the genre. --"You know why he's here? Why he's investigating the broken rules? He's not paid or anything. He likes it. He gets off on it" (talk) 22:27, December 19, 2014 (UTC) Barking This Creepypasta was fine when I read it. I read the rules and it followed all of them. It was a bit long, but I've seen way longer. The site messaged me saying I re-posted it. This is not the case, and if I did, I do not know how. I am sort of new to this site, please explain how I re-posted it. This pasta took my so long to make, and I don't want to rewrite it so I can show my friends. Now it's gone and no one will see it. Just because I apparently re-posted it and I don't even remember doing so. I had to edit one, but I didn't re-post it. Not that I can remember at all. Please restore this pasta. I feel that many readers will love it, but no one will ever read it again unless you undelete it. :You originally uploaded your story, twice. In a span of twenty minutes where I re-deleted it (the first time in the edit summary, you wrote, "I posted a story." The second time you wrote "Story posted.") for being the exact same story with the same issues I found then that I will write about now. Here is a copy for reference. (Note that I made no edits to the format, that is how the story appeared while I was reviewing it in editor mode.) Starting with punctuation issues: "I sat there in the concrete basement for five minutes or so(period missing) Afterwards,", Capitalization issues: "Emergency Room" shouldn't be capitalized. :Wording issues: "The thunder was so loud, it rung (rang is past tense of ring. A rung is a step on a ladder.) my ears, and the lightning was so strong, it caused miniature earthquakes here and there." (Sentence should be broken up to improve flow into two smaller sentences. "I have never went into the RV before since my dad was always watching it, so I was pretty excited to see what was in there, but at the same time (I was) frightened, because if my dad were (was) in there, I would probably get my head chopped off." (A run-on sentence, additionally seems like an odd reaction for the father.) "There were only 2 (two) doors I haven’t (hadn't) opened yet.", "I opened the door, and my still alive father starts (started) beating me to death." (You are speaking in past tense, you need to make tenses agree. Also this seems rushed, which I will address later.) "I went from (being) 11 to (being) 26 years old.", "If you want, you could call me homeless, because I don’t have a house, but as they say, home is where the heart is, and my heart is where ever the wind takes it." (run-on sentence.) "Well, it has appeared to me that it wasn’t a dream.", "I have found the same hospital I woke up at." Suffice it to say, there are a massive amount of wording errors here. :Story issues: Dialogue needs to be spaced out. You shouldn't have two speakers in the same paragraph. There were quite a large amount here. First off, you list Lucas' job as an explorer. "What do I do? Why, I just explore the world around me." (You need to elaborate on how he lives without any real occupation.) The protagonist wakes up from a coma after fifteen years and finds that the RV is still exactly where he left it? Additionally the introduction of the temple seems rushed. You meet Steve, Steve mentions a temple. You go together. Finally the journal format is very problematic. (especially without dividers." This for example should highlight the issue. "Surprisingly, I did sleep. I just didn’t get enough because Steve woke me so we can get going again. The sun has already risen so I’m guessing it’s around(period missing) Oh my God! I’m crying so much right now! I can barely write this clearly! Steve has died of (from) poison! Please, let this be a dream! Please!" :There is no break there and it just jumps. The story does this multiple times and it is difficult to follow at times. The protagonist is sad about Steve for two sentences and moves on, making Steve seem like a throw-away plot device for getting the protagonist to the temple. The protagonist sits in a chair at the hospital and slips into another coma. When he wakes up, he is still in said chair. Did the nurses/doctors just ignore him for decades. How did he survive without intravenous injects to supply food/water/nutrients? Finally the "this is a real journal I found" ending is really Cliched and generic. I'm sorry, but this story has way too many problems. I provided a copy so you can show your friends, but do not re-upload it onto this site without drastically re-working it and then making another deletion appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:44, December 21, 2014 (UTC) :: B1naryc0de: :: I'm extremely sorry about this. I'm not a teen yet, but I'm smarter than most kids my age. I guess I should wait a few more years until I start posting stories. I was a bit in a hurry when I checked the story for issues, but I guess I read too fast. The reason the story cuts off Steve so early isn't explained through the story, but on the part where I wrote "I probably won’t keep track of dates because I never really know what the day is." means that Lucas doesn't write in the journal every day. Some times are spaced out, and if someone you loved dies, you would be depressed and you would most likely not be writing in a journal. What I'm saying it that after Lucas writes that Steve has died, he waited a few days (or weeks) until he wrote in the journal again, and he partially gets over it, leaving it behind him. He didn't mention him much afterwards because he didn't want to think about him much. I understand the grammar issues, and I blame myself for that, but I don't see much of a flaw in the plot itself. I do agree when you say that the end was a bit Cliche though. I'll go for something unique next time. ::Thanks for pointing out my errors, I'll try not to make any next time (or at least as many). :::Unfortunately, being under the age of 13 is in direct violation of our terms of use. I am banning you, but I hope you continue refining your writing skills. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:37, December 21, 2014 (UTC) Where the old man fell Where the old man fell I see a lot of creepy pastas getting denied so I hope you wont deny it. I`m talking about the one on writers workshop if you don't deny and I re-upload I will fix the grammar and spelling mistakes maybe rewrite it a bit. :I'm sorry but looking at the version you have on the writer's workshop, it is still basically one large paragraph. (Space it out so it is easier to read. 4-5 sentences per paragraph) :There are punctuation errors. You us accent marks instead of apostrophes. ("grandpa`s", "I`m", etc.) You forget to use commas where needed. ("After 3 (three) hours (of) driving to the country side (countryside,) i (not capitalized) got to my grandpa`s (sic)house(comma missing) i got out of the car(period missing) i (I) stretched until i (I) heard that relieving crack sound.", "At 11:30(,) Grandpa told me that he has a bad heart so he gave me some pills so i (I)could save him.") You forget to use apostrophes in contractions ("im" = I'm, cant= can't) You additionally don't use quotations in instances of dialogue. ("So i replied(,) (")Okay,(") But (but) then shortly after(,) i (I)asked him how he was going to alert me.", "I called my parents and I said, That grandpa is dead." :Wording errors: " I fell to sleep ("to sleep" should be asleep), My (shouldn't be capitalized) alarm i (should be capitalized.) brought with me rang."), "I fell to my knees filling in dread (???) as I sobbed quietly(,) then a shadow figure that looks (looked) like my grandpa said, (")You`ve tried.(")") Capitalization issues: I should be capitalized. You randomly capitalize grandpa at certain intervals in the story and leave it uncapitalized on others. Please be consistent. Spelling issues: "DISCRASE" should be disgrace. I would also refrain from capitalizing entire phrases as it comes off as being gimmicky. :Plot issues. I still don't really know what you're going for here. Grandpa's ghost seems very mercurial. One instant he's breathing the boy "You're a desrase(sic)." the next he's telling him that he tried. Then there's the final line. "Ninety years without slumbering, Tick (tick), tock, tick, tock,(.) His life seconds numbering, Tick (tick), tock, tick, tock,(.) It stopped short(,) Never to go again,(.) When the old man die(dies.)" Was this meant to be a poem? If so, it was not properly formatted and if it was, the poem needs some work as it doesn't really flow well and the rhyming scheme is used randomly. As I warned you on your talk page, it is way too soon to attempt an appeal because there are issues here with capitalization, punctuation, wording, grammar, spelling, and story issues. I'm turning down this appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 13:20, December 21, 2014 (UTC) Skyrim's jvk116 Oh, I hope I am doing this right. I've never done an appeal before. I'm not even sure if I'm aloud to do this since what I'm appealing is not my story. I'm not sure if the author of this story care that their story was deleted or not, but I do. Skyrim's jvk116 is a great story. It was good enough for CreepsMcPasta to read on YouTube (where I first heard of it). There is no other site that this story is posted on, so with its deletion its text version has been wiped from the internet, Creeps' narration being the only remaining version. It is one of my favorite creepypastas, but it was erased in the mass purging of the video games section of the site a while back. I believe that Skyrim's jvk116 is a great sequel to the Jvk116z.esp pasta, and I believe that its re-addition to the video games section will not harm anyone. It will only make the site greater for its addition. Shouldn't the fact that a simple reader of the story is moved enough by it's deletion that they would contest it mean something? Please consider reinstating Skyrim's jvk116. --Rockergrrl113 (talk) 07:34, December 21, 2014 (UTC) :Unfortunately, if we change the rules for this particular story, we'd have to do it for all them. The story was also deleted over a year ago with no complaints until now. So I don't think it's quite as popular and in-demand as you make it to be. The story will remain deleted. Thanks. :Mystreve (talk) 23:19, December 21, 2014 (UTC) ::I agree with Mystreve here, a youtube narrating the story is not really justifiable grounds for restoring it. Additionally it would set a bad precedent. Since you seem to be a fan of the story and are unable to find a copy; I thought I'd do you a solid. Here is a copy of the story for your own personal enjoyment. That being said, do not re-upload it to the wiki. Doing so will result in an immediate ban. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:56, December 21, 2014 (UTC) Troubles of a Creepy Pasta Narrator My post was deleted for not meeting "the wiki's quality standards" which I reviewed. As far as the conditions set by the "Minimum Standards" it; * Was proofread and spell/grammar checked the story in Microsoft word, * did not contain a wall of text, * did not include bizarre capitalization, and * did include a properly formatted title. In regard to the "What We Generally Look For" section, though some of the guidelines are subjective, the rules that are not (such as capitalization and proper use of homophones) are followed. As for the subjective (such as "consistent plot", "good level of description", or "Avoid awkward phrasing"), I personally feel I at least did an adequate job writing the story. More detailed information on the reasoning for deletion would be appreciated. :Unfortunately that is a cover-all template for stories that don't meet quality standards and stories that are abysmally poor. (Yours was the former.) Starting off with the smaller issues: You don't need to include the title in the main body of the work itself. I would also recommend against using connections (but, because, and) to start sentences as it gives the story a choppy feel and is technically not grammatically correct (although it is common in dialogue.) Additionally I would really consider restricting ellipses to their original purpose (indicating pauses in dialogue and omission of words from a quote) as it has become a common issue for authors to abuse ellipses to 'build tension' when it unfortunately just comes across as melodramatic. (Dramatic pause...) You can use a comma or period to achieve the same effect. (10 times is a bit excessive as well.) :Onto the larger issues. Wording issues: "It drove me crazy, an image or video is an absolute necessity (for?), looking back at books like..." :Punctuation issues: Commas missing where applicable "I'm looking for a partner(,) not a freebie.", "boney with dark sunken in eye sockets(,) which housed eyes with milky white corneas, ...", 'A couple times a month(,) I'd say what the monster...", "I asked myself(,) "How did he even find me?" the (The) question...", "...I had thought it; the mail, the cash(,) he wanted mailed had a return address on it, my address on it. In my panic(comma missing) I hadn't noticed Punctuation outside of quotations: "he replied(comma missing) "I can do that, I am already working with a dog(.)".", " He just said(,) "Look closer. Her sacrifice was heroic(period should be here)".". :Possible plot issues. How is the protagonist uploading pictures of malformed/mutilated bodies onto Youtube? They are pretty strict with taking down offensive content. All in all, it isn't a bad story, but I would like to see those issues resolved. I am restoring it, but marking it for review until you can make some revisions. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:39, December 21, 2014 (UTC) I will make the changes you suggested to punctuation and attempt to resolve the working issue in those lines. As for the plot issue, I think it would fall under suspension of disbelief, mods not noticing some graphic photos is probably the most realistic part of the story. Thank you for reviewing my case. My_Confession Zozo (ZoZo, this is neither a spinoff or no spelling errors, anything mis-used was slang for effect. If you can not accept that, I will change it to the words it should be. Please state the real reason for deleting my post.) :The reason was stated in the message I left on your talk page. It was not up to quality standards. :There are punctuation issues: ""Whoah, what is that thing,(?) it (It) looks like something a child would play with."Punctuation missing from dialogue: ""What dude, are you chicken? Ha, I can't wait to tell the entire school(Period missing)", "ok, how about, yes if you're a girl, no if you're a guy".(period outside of quotations and it should be a question mark as it is a question.), "Zozo(,) the frickin' clown!" :Capitalization issues: "continued, "you (You) basically put...", "ghost adventures" should be in quotations/italics and properly capitalized as it is a tv program. You also misspell ouija board ("ouiji") :Wording Issues: "Gigs (Gig's, is a contraction. Gig's=Gig is) up dude.", ""Fine(comma missing) fine, lets (let's) do one more, hmm,"", "Blood fills my mouth as I feel a(extra space) face full of concrete." (Needs re-wording, did you mean to say he fell?) :Finally the ending needs work. I turn to start running more and notice that I was trying to run from something in front of me." (Needs to be re-phrased.) The big reason I deleted this story is that it feels very rushed. There is little to no build-up and explanation what the teenagers are doing at the abandoned house and why there is a Ouija board there in the first place. It also uses a lot of tropes that make the story seem cookie-cutter. Teens find a Ouija board and surprise there is a malevolent spirit inside. It is basically this movie just run through at a faster pace with little to no build-up, tension, or climax. That was why the story was deleted and why this appeal is being turned down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 05:31, December 23, 2014 (UTC) Scent of Night Why this was deleted? It was quality standard story. Can you explain me Why? I want a answer. :Massive wall of text. Also, appeal still denied: No signature. Sign your post and split your story into paragraphs, and we'll talk AFTER I reread your story. That One Freaky Producer Person 21:19, December 23, 2014 (UTC) ::Was typing a review, sorry, but I lost a brunt of the work so I'm just going to make this quick. You forgot to use apostrophes with contractions (he's, there's, what's, etc.) punctuation (commas missing where needed), grammar (it's=it is, its=possession), wording, capitalization (Words capitalized in the middle of sentences.), and misspellings. I'm sorry, but this story doesn't meet quality standards so I'm turning down this appeal. I am going to strongly suggest using the writer's workshop with your next story to help improve your writing skills. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:26, December 23, 2014 (UTC) Bring It Back!! (Alone) Mr. G4T0R4D3xEN3RGY, I Spent Alot Of Time Writing My Story And I Thought I Had A Good Story And I Know It Reasembles Ticci Toby Alot (Btw That Is How I Got My Idea). Please Bring Mine Back. :The story wasn't deleted for similarities to Ticcy-Toby/OC stories, but for quality standards issues. Looking over it, I see quite a number of issues here, starting with the first sentence: "Jeremy was 17 and he was challenged(comma needed/also needs re-phrasing) he always had pain in his head although he kept it to himself and he always wore the same clothes, a white T-shirt and blue jeans." (A run-on sentence.) The story needs a space between each new paragraph as the story was just a couple large walls of text. :Punctuation issues: comma issues as stated above, apostrophes missing from words indicating possession. "father(')s house.", "father('s) neck", "brother(')s room" etc. Punctuation missing from dialogue. ("Jeremy(,/.)" His mother said calmly.", ""Good Night Jeremy(,/.)" She Said As She Turned Out The Lights." (additionally capitalization issues.), ""Hello i'm (I'm) here to see Dr. Karen(,/.)", etc.) :Capitalization issues. You capitalize a lot of words in the middle of sentences that shouldn't be. ""Dammit, Just Another mess for me to clean up". (period outside of quotations)", ""Yes, Right This Way" The Woman Replied(period missing)", "Jeremy Smiled A Huge Grin And Chuckled then saying (said)", etc. You also need to capitalize "I" and names in sentences. (I, I'm, I'll) :Spelling and wording issues. "reaveal", "hostpital" However one of the largest issues is the story itself. It has a number of Cliches and comes off as fairly generic. (Abused teen, snaps, murders parents.) We unfortunately get at least one of these stories a day and they typically succumb to the same tropes/cliches that really detract from the plot. I'm sorry, but this story doesn't meet our quality standards. Here is a copy for reference. Please do not re-upload the story as it will result in its deletion and a possible ban. I suggest using the writer's workshop with your next story to help improve your writing technique. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:48, December 23, 2014 (UTC)